Nancy M. Stabins
Nancy shares her journey of supporting a loved one through kidney disease and the transplant process, offering encouragement and real-world perspective for other families and friends.
It started with a wine judge, young, in the prime of his life, and I found out he needed a kidney. So, I started a fundraiser to help him out. My thoughts were that if someone needed a kidney, what could help more than to have some extra money while recuperating from the operation. Little did I realize the scope of his illness and what the next 3 months would mean to me.
The fundraiser involved wine, of course, wine that I had been “cellaring” for a long time. The event was spectacular. Only 25 people were invited to taste the 15 bottles of wine. The event sold out in 2 hours. The wines were amazing but during this event, the young man, Tito, said how he needed a kidney and the 5 ounces of wine in front of everyone was all the liquid he could drink in a day. That realization hit me like a ton of bricks. My thought was, “he doesn’t need money, he needs a KIDNEY.”
So, at the ripe age of 67, I began the long process of seeing if I could donate. After all, I had 2 kidneys, why not give one? 20 tubes of blood, CAT scans, MRIs, stress echocardiograms, psychological evaluation, and other tests were scheduled and to my surprise I passed all of them… except one. My systolic (top number) blood pressure was in the 130s and it needed to be 120. After a discussion with the Transplant Center’s Physician Assistant, she felt that if I lost 20 pounds, my blood pressure would go down. I asked her to give me 6 months to lose the weight and see what would happen.
I also learned that once you donate a kidney, if for some reason you need a kidney, you go to the top of the list. Sounded like a good long-term plan to me. The education I received during this process from other kidney donors as well as transplant professionals was more than I could have expected. I was kept informed throughout.
I began my weight loss journey by watching what I ate, exercised and lost the 20 pounds in 5 months. Unfortunately, a repeat 24-hour blood pressure monitoring revealed no change in my blood pressure. My disappointment was palpable. I wanted nothing more than to help Tito. My years of being an RN and losing a child at the age of 26 to Congenital Heart Disease made this almost too much to bear. I wanted nothing more than to spare Tito’s mom the pain of losing her son! I wanted Tito to have his health back more than anything. The universe had other plans for me as well as for Tito.
Tito did get a kidney, which helped me accept my inability to donate, and the experience was so worthwhile because I was able to find out how healthy I was because of all the testing I had gone through. It was worth trying and failing than not trying at all.
Would I go through it again? ABSOLUTELY!!
Lovingly shared to anyone thinking of doing something selfless, just because it is the right thing to do for another person.